OH! The Humanity

OH! The Humanity!

            Wake up. Get out of bed. What time is it? 8:30, ok, time to get ready for the day. Clothes on, no wait. I have to shower, always shower, humans need to be clean, they always make a huge deal about it.

            Oh jeez, I should probably mention, I’m not a human. I’m what the humans would call an alien I guess. I’m from the planet Klapork, and I am a Thrastfoff. My name is Gorr, however my human name is John Smith. I came here on a science trip of sorts, well more like a research trip. I’m not here to invade, no that’d be very hard with just me. But I am here to see what the humans are like. How they act. And I, disguised as one of their own, am here to assimilate into the population so as to set a landing spot for my brothers on my home planet to head the actual invasion. I know, it sounds a little harsh, coming here fitting in, and then back stabbing everyone I ever met to help my race take over, but that’s how it goes in this type of deal.

            Anyway, today’s a big day! I have a job interview at a law firm. I spent all night studying to be a lawyer on Earth, and I feel as though I have a good grasp on the concept. I’m going to head out soon, but first, breakfast. In the fridge, all of my roommate’s food, however in my room, my food. I have Ylkf, a traditional dish made with a bird like creature from my home planet, Tiuy, a kind of spread that we distill from the guts of Gtad (a dog like creature). And finally, WonderBread, because this Earth bread is absolutely delicious. But I’m almost out, I must remember to shop after my interview. After my sandwich, I get dressed, and look in the mirror to see how I look. How vain these humans are. All they care about is how good someone looks, not the merit of their personality. But if I am to fit in with them, I must act and look like the best of them.

            My roommate Jerry is sitting on the couch as I walk through the living room. “Catch the game last night?” I ask him, just as I had seen a man do on a television show the other night.

            “What game?” he replied. Damn I’m going to have to think of who could have played.

            “Uh… The Jets?” I almost asked myself.

            “Oh, no. I didn’t know they were playing.” He said to himself, “Where are you going, dressed all spiffy?”

            “I have a job interview,” I started in, “at Thomas Dorfman Law Firm today.”

            “Oh nice! Hey listen,” he was about to drop a bombshell, I know it, “I was in your room the other day trying to find what was causing the apartment to smell funk, and I noticed some strange looking stuff. Any insight to what it may have been?”

            My mind was blank. What would it look like? What human food would it look like? “You found it?” I mused.

            “Yeah obviously, what is it?” he’s getting too close.

            “I don’t know, but I’ve been trying to find what that smell was for days. Thanks for the help!” I said quickly.

            I don’t know if he bought it necessarily, but I think I saved myself. Anyway, I can’t dwell on it, I have to go to the interview.

            Off I went to the bus stop. I’m not used to the streets being so empty. On my planet there are people walking around everywhere. It’s part of the reason we’re coming to Earth. More space. It still feels so empty, even though these people think it’s so crowded.

            I feel weird about how Jerry reacted this morning. I know I said I couldn’t dwell on it, but I mean what if he had found out? I’m not scared because he’d know I was an alien, but I have grown to like Jerry, and I feel as though him finding out I was different would make him hate me. Not to mention the fact that I would probably be executed, but I guess that sense of belonging comes with humanity. But enough about feelings, I need to focus.

            The bus. I have to take the bus. I don’t know what to expect. I’ve never been on one of these things before, and the people here are so weird. As I get on I notice a man looking at me, sizing me up. I’m not sure if he does this to everyone he sees or if he just thinks I’m going to cause him trouble. Either way, I’ll sit far away from him. It’s not bad on this thing, not bad at all. The driver jolted the bus forward as an old man was walking down the aisle.

            “Excuse me,” I said to the driver, “That man hadn’t sat down yet.”

            “So?” he asked distainfully, “Listen bud, I have to make it to the next stop on time with the schedule, so if one person gets a little jostled by the bus, it ain’t my fault.”

            What an idiot, he could have seriously injured that man. But as I turned to sit, I noticed everyone was staring at me, even the old man. And they weren’t warm, “You did the right thing” stares, they were, “What the hell’s your problem” stares. Was what I did weird? Was it wrong? I may have just gave everything away.

            As soon as I got to my stop, I got up and out of the bus and started walking to the office. It wasn’t for a couple steps until I realized I was being followed. The guy. The one who was sizing me up on the bus. What did he want? Should I turn around to talk to him or-

            “Hey pal, wait up.” He yelled to me.

            “Sorry man, I have to keep going,” I said trying to hide the fear in my voice, “important meeting to get to.”

            “I gotta ask you something though,” he said running after me.

            He’s going to attack me, I know he is. I stopped and braced myself for the fight to come.

            “Hey, aren’t you that guy I met at the store the other day?” he asked as I recoiled from my position, “You left your wallet on the counter.”

            My God, I can’t believe I thought the worst of this man. Greg or John or Bob or something, whatever the name, he had done a kind act. I am guilty of judgement now.

            That’s when I realized it, we are all human. Whether we are alien or from a different country, we are all human, it doesn’t matter if we fit in, or if we stand out, as long as we are who we are, we are all human, and capable of compassion. That’s it. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it. And even though I have to bring back my information to my superiors, and we’re going to invade Earth, I think we’ll have more appreciation and understanding of humans as a species.

            This is Gorr, I am John Smith, I am alien, and I am Human. But most of all, I am me.

Now I forgot about the social media aspect of this project, but I can assure you John Smith will be tweeting heavily all night and all weekend to fill the requirement.

You can follow John at @JSmithHuman on twitter.

Buried Life Project

Here's the full list

  1.       Juggle 5 objects

  2.       Travel to Ireland

  3.       Travel to Brasil

  4.       Go bungee jumping

  5.       Change someone’s life for the better

  6.       Graduate Highschool

  7.       Get a university degree

  8.       Play Men’s club rugby next year

  9.       Camp for 2-3 months with nothing but a tent and bare essentials.

  10.   See a Broadway show

  11.   Learn how to longboard well

  12.   Streak a sporting event

  13.   Get thrown out of a store

  14.   Buy a car

  15.   Meet The Rock

  16.   Meet Joe Rogan

  17.   Meet Quentin “Rampage” Jackson

  18.   Learn a new language (Not Just French)

  19.   Meet Quentin Tarantino

  20.   Go to SNL and be in the audience

  21.   Be on SNL

  22.   Learn how to tramp wall

  23.   Learn how to do a backflip without a trampoline

  24.   Eat healthier

  25.   Deadlift 500 pounds

  26.   See AC/DC again

  27.   Go to Tomorrowland

  28.   Visit Norway

  29.   Go see a Grey Cup

  30.   Go see a Super Bowl

  31.   Go to FIFA

  32.   Go to a UFC fight in Vegas

  33.   Go to Vegas

  34.   Go to a Wrestlemania event

  35.   Go to Cuba

  36.   Wear a suit to work everyday

  37.   Make 6 figures

  38.   Go to Mardi Gras

  39.   See the Book of Mormon live.

  40.   Go wingsuiting

  41.   Crowd surf at a concert

  42.   Mosh at a concert

  43.   Be a part of a flash mob

  44.   Be a better student

  45.   Get married

  46.   Meet Barack Obama

  47.   Swim with sharks

  48.   Be in a movie

  49.   Go to Carivale

  50.   Become YouTube famous

  Now what? I have a couple of now whats. One is to get back to deadlifting 500 pounds. I used to be able to, but as I broke my arm wrestling, I lost the ability to do so. I miss the amazing feeling of being able to lift half a ton, and I really want it back. I've been working back to it slowly, and hopefully by the end of next year I will be there, but it's a slow and steady and process.

  Second thing is long boarding. I spent a couple of days trying to learn how, and am slowly getting better, I want to spend the summer getting better and trying to learn!

  Third and final thing is going to Cuba. My oldest brother, Rob, and I have been planning since last year to go to Veraderos, Cuba this December, and now that I'm back to work, I can start saving money to do just this! 

  -Ben

         Link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRHc-YBEHQc&feature=youtu.be&safe=active

I'm still alive.

Hello to the internet, yes I'm still alive.
It's been a while my friend, rest assured I have survived.
Busy have I been of late,
For graduation falls on my plate.
I've been away from you for many weeks
And now it's time for me at last to speak.
A few assignments I have yet to submit,
Before weeks end I will accomplish it.
To do these tasks I've been burdened with,
Grant me speed, so I may be swift.
A poem, I didn't intend to write,
But in my faults, there is always light.
Forgive me, for my procrastination-
And see it not as depreciation
Of works you've given to me,
But as time for them to grow as a tree-
Grows from the ground,
On my blog the projects shall be found.
By: Ben McMahon

To any and all who are reading this, I have been very busy, and have not had the time to post my assignments for my creative writing class. I feel very ashamed that I've let this class slip from my grasp in the last few weeks, but as my story tells I have a heavy load the next few weeks. However, this is no excuse to not have stuff in, Ms. McLauchlan if you're reading this I'm sorry, and I will have all of my assignments in by the end of the week. Promise.

-Ben

New Places. New Stories.

It's crazy how life works isn't it? My life has been a weird kind of hell for the last year or so. I mean, I was captain of a team that should have gone all the way to finals, I had to drop out of a musical I had the lead in, I broke my arm and had to stop working and wrestling due to the fact. It hasn't been great, but then out of the blue, it can all change. I mean I'll never get back to the amazing season I had with my brothers on the football team, but it was awesome while it lasted! I won't get back this last season of wrestling, but heck I can wrestle again, and my job, thank god for the Union. No the whole "I'm down on my luck" mentality is all self imposed. I stopped to look around at my life the other day and I said, "Why am I down?" I got a chance to be a lead in a musical with a different production, on an audition I was soooooo unprepared for, and I get to work again. I can play sports in the future, as long as I keep up with physio. So yeah, I shouldn't be down on myself.

The "New Places. New Stories." part starts now, just as an fwi. The musical I got the lead in is Shrek the Musical, which was the show I was originally supposed to be a part of. So when I got the call telling me I was a lead, I was ecstatic! I had heard that at the place I was auditioning for, your first time you had to be in the chorus, so I was super optimistic about my chances. When I talked to the director after, he told me that I was the best fit for the role, so that was a huge pat on the back. But I didn't really let it hit me until last Tuesday. Last Tuesday was my first rehearsal and I realized that there was going to be about 40 people that I'd never met before, who for the most part already new each other. Some of which I had "stolen" the lead from. I had to make friends with all these people, and I still have to act like this is my show. I didn't know what to expect, but I think it's going to all work out well. Which is awesome! I just think it's weird how all of a sudden you can be a new situation that's completely alien to you, but then. That's life.

Solitary Confinement- Short Story Writing

(1) What did you do/write/create today?

(2) What did you learn (About yourself, your story, your writing, etc.)

1) I started writing my story outline. I find it hard to just start writing, so I took today's class to start figuring out what was going to be in it. I'm not going to give away my theme or idea, because it's going to be a surprise for everyone, however I will tell you what I accomplished. I came up with the main idea for the story, the sort of story it's going to be (a funny one) and started working on characters and plot. I feel like it's going to be a fun story to write and I hope it's going to be a fun one to read.

2) During the writing process today I learned that apparently I fixate on one thing too much. I started with an idea that I'd just go with a mystery because it would be comfortable, but I told myself, "Hell no! Push yourself!" So I threw out my original idea which I think would've end up being crap and decided to go for a light hearted, yet funny and interesting story. I found out that I need to write more, because it's been a while since I have, and the creative process is taking longer than anticipated. I feel like as I write the story will evolve into an interesting piece, simply because I've never done a funny story before. But I'm excited!

So What

http://io9.com/concept-art-writing-prompt-creating-a-god-1503062646

Creating a god. I feel like the creator of this image wanted to show how much we rely on technology these days. No one is created different not even "God".

But if you can break away from all the technology, you can be yourself.

TEDx Fort Garry

So I meant to post this on Wednesday or Thursday, but I never got the opportunity. On Wednesday, a group of us went to watch a group of youths from around Manitoba do TED Talks. It was a really cool experience and there were some great presenters. One that comes to mind just off the top of my head was a guy named Nereo the II. He was guy who had given up a "real" job to pursue what made him truly happy, spoken word poetry and art. He told us about coming back from a rap battle in Cincinnati, Ohio and getting arrested at the US/Canada border for having drugs on his person. He got taken to court here in Winnipeg and as he was pleading his case the judge found out that he did spoken word, and said, "Go ahead, do some" and so Nereo did the same spoken word for us as he did for the judge. And the judge threw out the case. Why? Well it turned out that he was a director on the board of Rainbow Stage (A semi professional musical theatre group in Winnipeg) and seeing Nereo do that spoken word reminded him of a good time when the arts was a huge part of his life. Well Nereo took that and went with it, but he didn't stay out of trouble that long. Five years later or so, he got caught spray painting a cop car. They brought him in to do some questioning, and as the officers questioned him and demanded to know what he was thinking, he did another spoken word. And the arresting officer looked at him and said that he had wished they had met somewhere else, and that art was something Nereo should pursue, not vandalizing. So he did. He start a group for artists and had one of his students come out to do a spoken word, and finally he did one last spoken word for us to end the speech on a super high note. I'd give his performance a 4/5.

Another great presenter was Chris Voth. He is the first openly gay National level volleyball player. And he talked to us about all that, and how he had transformed into the man he is today. I don't remember all the little details of his speech, but it was very passionate and very very good. The theme of this whole event was "Transformers" so all of the speeches had something to do with change or growth, but some didn't necessarily hit the intended mark. There were a couple who just didn't know how to put what they were saying into a way that was positive for the audience, but I know first hand how hard it is to be on stage in front of strangers, so I applaud every presenter's effort.

The entire day was awesome, and I would recommend to anyone to go see a TED event if you ever get the opportunity, because they are phenomenal!

-Ben